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Yesterday afternoon I was inspired to go on a journey.  I meditate daily, but journey perhaps only a couple of times a week.  Mid afternoon, however, I felt compelled.

One of my coven sisters and I are preparing to attend a Dark Moon Esbat held by the Women’s Shamanic Circle we attend.  For this circle there is homework.  We are to prepare for clarification about your current and future path in this life, and due to a conversation that I had had with a very powerful Crone at the last circle, I thought I should attempt to meet my Shadow Animal.

(A shadow animal is also a power animal, but it correlates to the “dark side” of one’s self. Dark, in this instance, does not equal bad, but is part of the duality that we all embody and that is present in everything.)

I began my journey in the Sacred Space that I have set up for myself in the Inner Realms. From there, I decided to walk alone and did not ask any of my guides to come with me.  As I walked, I saw the light begin to dim; I was walking toward my shadow.

I read recently a piece written by a Jewish Rabbi.  He was discussing the nature of the light which comes from G-D.  He spoke of the various light frequencies and colours that come from the Divine.  One such ‘type’ of light is black light.  Black light is not the sort of light that makes white and dayglo colours appear to glow, but is a light that cannot be seen except when it illuminates something.  I tried to picture this light as I walked toward my Shadow.

Very quickly I came to a shallow creek. As I crossed the creek, barefoot, I wandered toward a dense forest.  Upon reaching the bank and climbing up a hill toward that dense and slightly ominous forest, a centaur came out of the woods.  He was darkly handsome, almost a Khal Drogo sort, if you will.

As I approached him I asked if he was there as my guide.  He did not answer, but handed me a scorpion.  The scorpion walked up my arm to almost perch by my neck.  I asked him, “Is this my Shadow Animal?”  His response was, “Yes, but this is not who I am taking you to meet.”  Then we began walking.

After only a short while, we came to a clearing.  In the clearing was a Raven.  I have always had a love for birds, especially the birds in the family of the raven. As a small girl I was drawn to magpies and often associated myself with them, so I was not terribly surprise to see this animal.  I did not hear it spoken, but I get the sense that the Raven is not necessarily my shadow animal, but my guide in the lower realms, because upon meeting her the ground open up and there were stairs leading down.

I did not hesitate to follow the Raven into the ground but walked, scorpion on my shoulder, down the earthen steps.  My centaur guide did not follow, but stood watch at the opening. I followed the steps to a gate.  Before I reached the gate, an enormous woman appeared.  She was so large, I could not take her in all at once.  She had a crown upon her head that seemed to be moving and changing shape.  It was white and glittered.  She asked of me, “Why do you want to pass this gate?”

The question was easy, but I worked for a moment to choose the right words.  I cannot recall what exactly I said to her.  I do know that I cannot recreate it here.  However, the general gist of my statement was that I wanted to go inside and set things right.  That I was not meaning to change it, but more correctly, I wanted to clean it and clear it of cobwebs and the like.

She looked at me closely and said, “And who are you that you think you should be allowed to do this?”  My response was very quick and lacking hesitation when I said, “Well, you are part of me, yes?  So I have every right to go deeper in.”  At that, she lost her form and became a huge bunch of slithering snakes about my feet.  I was not frightened, but I did not get to venture forth as there came at that moment the deafening sound of bells.

The bells!  The bells! …… I do not know where they came from, I only know that the took me completely out of that journey and into this one. I got up and walked around my house, from window to window, in search of the cause of this ringing.  I thought perhaps a wind chime, but no. I still do not know, but I have small bit of disappointment, for I want to see what is on the other side of that gate.