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It has been over a decade since the death of my beloved Grandmother.  My Gma’s are the two people in my life that have made the biggest impact. I was in many ways neglected by and rejected by my own parents.  My Grandparents, who lived very close to me, recognized this and took on the role of raising me.

My grandmothers have had the biggest impact on who I am, and I treasure every small memory I have of them.  I am truly lucky that one of them is still alive, but the one that is gone has left a whole in my heart that I cannot fill or seem to heal. She used to come to me in my dreams, and she does still guide me in many ways, but I am maddened by the fact that I cannot see her anymore.

Often, I see her house in my dreams.  I go there and look for her, desperate to find her and my grandfather. The memory of her is so vivid, and I still tear up when I think of her.

As you know, it is the waning moon and very nearly the dark of moon.  This is the time of the lunar month that I involve myself in serious inner workings.  With the help of my guides it has been getting increasingly more intense, and I have been growing intensely, albeit with much discomfort.

Last night I consulted my guides before dreaming.  I asked them to assist me in knowing my next step in development. Upon sleeping I found myself in the same familiar house that once belonged to my Grandparents.  At this time I was living in it. The house was dilapidated and falling apart.  The plumbing didn’t work, and the roof needed replacing, etc.

Throughout the dream, my friends kept coming to me and telling me that I needed to leave there, that there was nothing for me there anymore.

Wow! If that wasn’t a powerful message…. So I know that part of my growth at this time is to let my grandmother go.  I even woke up saying this “I need to let her go. I need to let her go…..” I am not sure how I will do this, and part of me still does not want to accept that I must….. I will begin at the Dark of Moon ~ Tomorrow.