The theme of this month, for me, is “Self-Love.” So often in a working mother’s life it is easy to overlook the need to take care of one’s self. I mean, I eat right and work out, but the actual intimate moments of just loving oneself and appreciating the great work that our bodies do for us each and every day have not happened often enough for me. In fact, I am less than grateful to my body most often, being unhappy with the space it takes up, its responses to certain stressed, and various other gripes.
At the recent Beltaine celebration I attended we discussed how we set up patterns of thought, and how it takes approximately 3 weeks to break these patterns and install new ones. We were challenged to break the habits of self deprecation and criticism in favor of new more uplifting habits. I have accepted that challenge with open arms.
Last night, as a way of loving myself, I took a long, luxurious bath. For this section, you are going to need a bit of back story. I bought my house about two years ago. Shortly after buying it, the drain in the bathtub stopped working properly. We certainly could not use it for bathing. Due to financial issues and prioritization, we were unable to have the plumbing fixed. Trust me, for a girl that treasures bathtime as a stress release and my favorite way to pamper myself, this has been maddening!! Almost two years without a bath!! (FYI, I do have a working shower.) 😉 Anyway, I allotted the majority of my tax return this year to getting the drainage system fixed. Turns out it was a simple clog that a bit of lye was able to flush out overnight. YAY!!
So, last night I lit the candles, ran super hot waters, added spearmint/eucalyptus bubble bath, put on my current cd of choice, and sank beneath the healing waters.
As I lay in the bath, luxuriating, I found myself becoming anxious. It seems I have forgotten how to let go and just enjoy the bath. I meditate daily without this trouble, but this appears to be a different sort of meditation that I have forgotten how to do properly. Since having children, my evenings have been about preparing for the next day so that I can sleep soundly for as long as possible. It shocked me to find that I could no longer just abandon all cares to the healing waters of a bath.
My goal for this month, in addition to changing harmful thought patterns, is to re-member how to take a bath. What ways do you most love to pamper and care for yourself?